The Imperial Commission:
The Truth of the Firstborn
           By Richard Christopher Burriesci

I am writing on a subject that has been researched and written about well over a million times, and I offer nothing new that has not been published before. The wise King Solomon said it best more than three thousand years ago in Ecclesiastes: "There is nothing new under the sun." But, like that old sun, the same one, which rises and sets upon this blue planet and has done so for the past four billion years, we welcome its fresh warm life-giving rays, each and every day. On my list of heroes, Jesus Christ, the Son of God, ranks first; and like our sun, His story is always fresh to the ears of those who love Him. There is a living Holy Spirit that makes His story fresh and wonderful.
 
The Six Chapters in this book include in order:
        THE RESURRECTION
           PONTIUS PILATE
           THE 12 APOSTLES, FAMILY & FRIENDS
           A CASE OF BETRAYAL: JUDAS ISCARIOT
           PAX ROMANA
           GOD IS THE AUTHOR OF SCIENCE
           
The ACTI PILATI (Full 10 page document Pilate sent to Tiberius Caesar giving detailed account of the trial, Crucifixion and Resurrection of Jesus Christ)  THE GOSPEL OF PETER and other gnostic writings and references to the Lost Gospels.
 
Did Jesus have to marry? Did He sire children?
Did He travel to England with Joseph of Arimathea?
  
This has been said before in many books prior to this publication but this information is easy to retain because Mr. Burriesci uses his interesting history in prospective teaching technique that makes reading this data easy and enjoyable. Reliable historical documents are included in this book, full account word for word, so you can decipher for yourself. These 120 pages include poems and pictures and are written in easy-to-understand language.
 
To obtain a copy of this book  contact:
 THE LINCOLN STUDIO
32 Oak Lane, New Hyde Park, NY 11040
E-mail: TheLincolnStudio@yahoo.com
 
You will find this book to be insightful and delightful,
effective and subjective,inquiring and inspiring ...
light-hearted and well-chartered ...
opinionated and integrated ...
Ancient and modern human behavior ...
Discussions on the Coming Savior!
Conversational notes ... 
tidbits and quotes ...
Faith and Hope in the Resurrection ...
Question's about the Son of God and His perfection
The great ancient prophets and their vision ...
The real true meaning of  THE IMPERIAL COMMISSION
 
To purchase this beautiful patent leather hard back book in red burgundy; the title and author embossed in gold-leaf lettering and so easy to read and understand because the author's words are in large 15 pt new times roman and all documents and quotes from other expert writers are in standard 12 pt book print. 
"Memories of 20th Century 
New York City & Long Island"
 
An original song by Richard Christopher Burriesci written especially for this documentary audio production
 
(The melody of song is whistled @ introduction)
 
There’s an island in the ocean
Off continental U.S.A.
Some more islands in the river
Going to the Hudson Bay
 
Memories of a lifetime
Are fond for me
The culture, tunnel and bridges
In Long Island and N.Y.C.
 
 
Vendors in the street selling hot dogs
Roasting chestnuts and whole lots more
People bustling through the traffic
In New York City we adore
 
Take the ferry to Staten Island
Your car to Long Island shores
Ride the train to Manhattan
To the best buildings and finest stores
 
Memories of a lifetime
Are fond for me
New York City and Long Island
In the 20th Century
 
(The melody of song is whistled while singing refrain)
Vendors in the street selling hot dogs
Roasting chestnuts and whole lots more
People bustling through the traffic
In New York City we adore
 
Memories of a lifetime
Are fond for me
New York City and Long Island
In the 20th Century
 
Copyright 2003: Richard C. Burriesci
The Lincoln Studio – all rights reserved
THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT HAD A COVERT OPERATION!
LITTLE DID THEY KNOW ...
THE SPACE ALIENS HAD A COVERT OPERATION OF THEIR OWN!
ONTARIO ROSE
Original Story and Screenplay by
Richard Christopher Burriesci and Victoria Janyia Dillard
 
The 1947 UFO crash in Roswell, New Mexico was no accident! It was a diversion whereupon Victoria, the pregnant alien from Antares journeyed to Canada assisted by Navajo Indians who were close friends to a Captain in the Royal Canadian Mounties. Her son, Ontario Rose, was born on his ranch. The Captain raises the extra-terrestrial
genius while Ontario's real father is an elderly planetary forefather. Their homespun adventure with a touch of humor unfolds the story of alien inhabitation of earth today.
 
"At the age of 16, Ontario is driving his dream car - a two tone peach and black Edsel Citation - 1958 vintage.  The signature horse collar grille is reminiscent of his mother's
home in a galaxy so far away. This insignia was affixed to the galactic uniform his father wore many times warping through the abyss of space - a father he would only know through stories his mother told him." - Quote from Ontario Rose Screenplay
 
In this story learn how ELVIS PRESLEY got his famous snarl
Scroll down to picture of Elvis Presley to see portion of script
GARRY LAND LEFT HIS HEART IN SOUTH MANHATTAN
 
When I think about my memories of New York, I like to think about the area of the city that I know and like the best, Greenwich Village. It's very much "Old New York" starting at West 14th Street and going south to Houston Street covering the neighborhoods between the Hudson River to the west and Washington Square Park to the east. Most of the houses there are of the federal style architecture and were built between 30 and 50 years before the Civil War. In fact there is a house on Jane Street with a bronze plaque near the door that states Alexander Hamilton died here.
 
The grid pattern of the numbered streets and avenues that everyone who knows anything about Manhattan is familiar with, came much later than Greenwich Village. The streets wind and curve so much that West 4th Street actually intersects with West 11th Street. Most of the streets there have names like Christopher, Perry, Charles, Jane, Horatio and of course, Bleeker Street that almost everyone has heard of; lined with shops, wineries, bakeries clothing stores and restaurants. One of the reasons I love the village is because there are by far more trees and flowers there than any other place in the city.
 
One of my earliest memories of the village was my first real meal in New York over 30 years ago. It was a very late at night and I had breakfast food. I immediately noticed that the coffee tasted so much better than any I had ever tasted before. A friend who was there with me at the time was a native New Yorker and explained to me that the public water in Manhattan is actually mountain spring water that is piped into the city from the Catskill Mountains not too far to the north upstate. Anyway, this wonderful restaurant is still there today as busy and as popular as ever. It's located in what I think of as the heart of Greenwich Village, Sheridan Square, where 7th Avenue, Christopher, Grove and West 11th Streets all intersect. The name of the establishment is Tiffany's so, if you ever go to the village you too, can have breakfast at Tiffany's!
 
Walking east from Sheridan Square toward Washington Square Park you come to the neighborhood called Waverly Place. This area is dominated by an old courthouse with a tall tower and clock high above 6th Avenue. Two of my favorite places ther were Balducci's groceries and the C.O Bigelow Pharmacy. Many times on friday afternoons I would follow Cher in Balducci's and see what she was putting into her basket. This wonderful establishment was an institution in New York; a fancy Italian grocery that I have just learned has gone out of business after 125 years. The C.O. Bigelow Pharmacy opened in 1836 and has never closed its doors since. The amazing thing about the Bigelow Pharmacy is the fact that you can find anything there. If it's a toiletry or drug store item and it exists, you will find it there!
 
In closing, I would like to dispel a myth that has been perpetuated in the south for many years. I always heard that New Yorkers were not friendly people. This simply is not true. New Yorkers are the friendliest people that I hve ever met, anywhere and that's a fact!
IN THE ONTARIO ROSE SCREENPLAY WE LEARN HOW A 12 YEAR OLD BOY NAMED ELVIS PRESLEY GOT HIS FAMOUS SNARL FROM THE BEAUTIFUL EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL FROM ANTARES NAMED VICTORIA.  THE SCENE TAKES PLACE IN 1947 AND THESE ARE THE ACTUAL LINES:
Copyright 2004: R. C. Burriesci and V. J. Dillard - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED  Registered with The Library of Congress 
 
 
 
 
 
 
FADE IN: EXT – OUTSIDE THE MEMPHIS GREYHOUND TERMINAL
 
The bus pulls into the station on the banks of the Mississippi River. Kyle announces that there will be a two- hour layover. The Chief and the alien walk to the water to watch the elaborate riverboats. A twelve-year-old boy is singing and playing his guitar. Morning Star and Victoria sit on a soft grassy spot by the riverbank. The boy serenades her with a verse of “CLEMENTINE” while her back is against a tree as the Chief sits Indian-style.
 
VICTORIA
You sing absolutely beautiful. Don’t you think so, Morning Star?
 
CHIEF MORNING STAR
I must agree; Do you like to sing?
 
ELVIS PRESLEY
Every chance I get! I sing in our church choir, I listen to the songs that comeout on the radio, someday, I’ll sing to the world. I want to thank you, ma’m; where are you from?
 
VICTORIA
I am from Antares – a planet far, far away.
 
ELVIS (Asking the chief)
Sir, she IS joking, isn’t she?
 
CHIEF MORNING STAR
 
I could not lie. She is in fact from another world. Victoria, it is getting late – we may have missed our bus.
 
(Victoria gets up ans kisses the corner of his lip)
 
ELVIS
I have never been kissed by a beautiful lady from another world before. I won’t ever wash these lips again!
 
VICTORIA
Well, I only caught one side. Pretend that side is paralyzed and move the other side like this:(DEMONSTRATES THE ELVIS SNARL)
 
(Elvis, after practicing this a few times gets the knack)
 
ELVIS 
I think I got it!  Whenever I do this …
(DEMONSTRATES the snarl Elvis is famous for)
I’ll think of the most beautiful woman in the universe who kissed me. Victoria – is your name?
 
VICTORIA
Yes it is; Victoria Rose, and who is the young man I’ll be hearing over the air waves soon?(As they are leaving)
 
ELVIS
Elvis, ma’m – my name is Elvis Aron Presley.

 
 
Later on in the story, an adult Elvis Presley sings "The Hawaiian Wedding Song" to the Antarian Victoria at her wedding to the Captain. Victoria's son Ontario Rose marries his earthling sweetheart in a beautiful double wedding with the Navajo Chief Morning Star and Canadian Mounties present
Your story begins with an idea, a vision we call the silver screen of imagination, very distinct, detailed, almost a hologram. In no other form of writing do we find this so true. Like a director walking on the set amid the thespians and production crew; or sitting in a front row seat watching your cinema in technicolor. To quote Mr. Syd Field from his book "Screenplay: The Foundations of Screenwriting": "The job of the screenwriter is to write the (movie) script scene by scene, shot by shot. What is a shot? A shot is the cell, the kernel of action; a shot basically is what the camera sees ... scenes are made up of shots. If you want to write a dialogue scene in a master shot all you need to write i.e. INT. - RESTAURANT - NIGHT and simply let your characters speak without any reference to the camera or shot. Resistance is the urge to do something else. Acknowledge it and forge on"
the fundamentals of basic screenwriting: 
getting started in writing your own movie - the screenplay
by Richard C. Burriesci a presentation of The Lincoln Studio and its associates
LIGHTS ... CAMERA ... ACTION! GOLDEN RULES:
YOUR FIRST 10 ... MUST BE A 10!
YOUR FIRST TEN MINUTES (10 PAGES) MUST BE TOTALLY CAPTIVATING
DON'T SAVE YOUR BEST FOR LAST ... YOU WON'T GET THE CHANCE!
 
REGARDING YOUR SETS ...
INT. EASIER AND CHEAPER TO PRODUCE THAN EXT. 
(A DIFFERENCE OF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS REGARDING WEATHER AND PERMITS)
 
WORK YOUR McGUFFIN IN FIRST FIVE PAGES (SUBPLOTS AND CLUES)[click the word McGuffin underlined above for definition]
 
RESEARCH WELL EVENTS & MATERIAL IN YOUR SCRIPT
ACCURACY IS A MUST ... IT MUST BE BELIEVABLE
 
HOW TO OVERCOME WB (WRITER'S BLOCK):
DISCIPLINE
A)  SET GOAL: TEN PAGES PER DAY NOT NECESSARILY IN SEQUENTIAL ORDER
B)  READ ALOUD WHAT YOU WROTE: THE EAR OFTEN PICKS UP MISTAKES
C)  CONJURE THREE NEW WORDS OR PHRASES EACH DAY TO USE LATER ON IN SCRIPT
 
PASS & GO
DO NOT DWELL ON ONE PIECE. MOVE ON! JIGSAW PUZZLES ARE DONE IN SEGMENTS. SO, TOO IS YOUR SCREENPLAY. RESISTANCE - ACKNOWLEDGE IT AND FORGE AHEAD!
 
 
TIMING
A)  TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE. IF YOU DO NOT CUT IT SHORT ... THEY WILL!
B)  MUSIC HELPS TIMING AND FLOW. YOUR FAVORITE SONGS WILL HELP KEEP TIME.
 
TAKE FIVE: STAY ALIVE
A)  TAKE A REST AND DO SOMETHING ELSE; THEN COME BACK RENEWED
B)  TAKE A POWER NAP AND DREAM A SOLUTION
C)  THE KEY IS THESE THREE: FOCUS - DISCIPLINE - DILIGENCE
CLICK BELOW AND LEARN THE LINGO
IF YOU FOLLOW THE PROPER SCREENPLAY FORMAT ...
ONE PAGE TRANSLATES TO SIXTY SECONDS MOVIE TIME
CREATE A TAG LINE TO ATTRACT MOVIE GOERS AND PRODUCERS
CLICK THE CAMERA FOR FILM MAKING TIPS
what is discipline?
you're a late sleeper and your job calls for you to be up and ready for action at 6:00 a.m. You may hate your work but you are where you supposed to be both bright eyed and bushy tailed at 5:45 a.m. ...
With a great attitude! 
YOUR THEATRICAL POSTER WILL HELP KEEP YOU FOCUSED
DESIGN ONE NOW!
with your tag line and synopsis
DEVELOPE YOUR CHARACTER
love 'em or hate 'em but don't be indifferent! whether they have one line or the star of your script
HERE'S YOUR FIRST ASSIGNMENT:
GO TO SHORT STORIES BY OUR OWN PAGE BY CLICKING THE MARQUEE.
 THEN SCROLL DOWN TO THE DINERS AND FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS ON THE RAINBOW DINER TO WRITE ONE SCENE

FROM THE SCI-FI MOVIE "EARTH VS. THE FLYING SAUCERS"

CLICK THE POSTERS TO WATCH SHORT VIDEO

IF YOU ARE WRITING YOUR FIRST SCREENPLAY YOU SHOULD WATCH THE 1957 MOVIE CLASSIC "TWELVE ANGRY MEN" BECAUSE THE ENTIRE SCRIPT IS INTERIOR ONE SET SCENE. THE ACTORS REMAIN IN THE SAME COSTUME. THIS TRANSLATES TO INEXPENSIVE MOVIE PRODUCTION WHICH TRANSLATES INTO A FAR GREATER CHANCE OF GETTING YOUR SCRIPT PURCHASED BY MOVIE PRODUCERS AND ONTO THE SILVER SCREEN  
$40.00 includes postage and handling
GARRY W. LAND at the age he remembers New York City

For Your Entertainment ...

CLICK EACH THEATRICAL POSTER TO VIEW THE TRAILER FOR THAT PARTICULAR MOVIE

CLICK A SMILEY TO VIEW OUR YouTube "WHEN YOU'RE SMILING!

CLICK A SMILEY TO VIEW OUR YOUTUBE

DO NOT FORGET THE CLICK THE BROOKLYN BRIDGE PHOTO

MR. GARRY LAND WHO WROTE THIS COMMENTARY IS A STAFF WRITER FOR THE LINCOLN STUDIO. YOUR COMMENTS PERTAINING TO THIS ARTICLE E-MAIL:

Original Writings

Tutorials

Journals

ACT 1: SCENE 1
(A trumpet playing the introduction "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy" by the Archangel Gabriel heralds Mary the mother of Jesus Christ)

GABRIEL:
Hail Mary full of grace the Lord is with thee! Blessed are you among women.

MARY at age 12:
My Lord, What hast thou to say to me?

GABRIEL:
You are to conceive a son whom you shall call Jesus - a name above all other names.

MARY:
I beg to differ with you my lord, but the name Jesus is more popular than Moishe.

GABRIEL:
Tell me about it!  In 2000 years every other Spanish boy will bear that name and when Revelation is fulfilled where every knee shall bow at the sound of that name ... Oy Vay!

 

RAPHAEL a High Priest:
Young man, I have been listening as you have opened to our understanding the meaning of our Scriptures.  Never before have I physically felt the resonance of truth to one's words as I do to yours as you explain.  My parents have given me the name Raphael, of whom is made mention in the Scroll of Tobias from the Septuagint canon.  Perhaps there is a meaning you can explain pertaining to this writing?

JESUS:
Your namesake is Raphael the Archangel who carries the prayers of the saints before the Throne, so that my Father may
give answer to the petitions.  Wow! This is a heavy request you have made but I think you can understand what I am about to tell you.  The young woman Sarah is being assaulted by the Arch-Demon Asmodeus who holds the fourth highest position in the Adversary's Kingdom.  His main assignment for generations past and future is to be the Guardian Authority of the Cain blood line which will eventually rule the world claiming to be descendants of my Father.  Since Asmodeus carries such a high position of authority it requires one of equal rank from my Father's Kingdom to legally deal with him. 

RAPHAEL:
You mean it takes a general to deal with a general.  Wow! I get it now!

JESUS:
Raphael also gave advice to Tobias as to the highest principle of marriage - would you like to know that?

RAPHAEL:
By all means, please continue.

JESUS:
Tobias, before you consummate thereby legalizing your marriage you and your wife shall spend three days in fast and prayer.  Only after consummation would one attend the wedding feast reception at which the bride and groom are called or recognized as the focus of the feast.
I myself have fasted the past three days because at my age of twelve I am officially a man ready to take on expected responsibilities

ACT 1: SCENE 2
In the Temple young Yeshua among a group of 12 men

KOPERNIKUS the Narrator:
And so it was as Paul Harvey would say ... Now for the rest of the story:  About the age of his Bar-Mitzvah Jesus was teaching the essence of life to the learned Temple Priests of the Great Temple in Jeruselem.

 

ACT 2: SCENE 1:
(The Lost Years) Jesus pulls a wagon with a sign affixed: YOSEF & YESHUA, TETRACHS -
CARPENTRY & MASONRY working on a building project in Rome and smells the aroma of Barbecue

AURELIUS the Chief Centaurian:
You're in a Roman world now and if you receive wages from Caesar we call you Jesus.  You did nice work on the Arch of Augustus on the Palentine Hill.  You must be hungry - get yourself a slab of roasted pork.

JESUS (YESHUA):
Thank you Tribune but I am Kosher.  I have to admit it sure smells good!

AURELIUS:
I heard all about kosher but remember Jesus, it is not what goes into thy mouth but what filth comes out of your mouth what matters most.

JESUS;
I shall remember that.

ACT 2: SCENE 2
A soldiers brings an elderly man to the attention of Aurelius

AURELIUS:
A man who calls himself Joseph of Arimathea is here to see you Yeshua.
(Joseph warmly greets Jesus)

JOSEPH OF ARIMATHEA:
Yeshua, tomorrow we head to Glastonbury to trade my silver and tin.  I have arranged for you  to build a stone chapel for the Britons.  The pay is generous.  We should return to Nazareth in 100 days with enough income between us to put our house accounts in order for the next year or so. 

JESUS:
Yes! Uncle Joe, I understand that  our God is gracious and generous.

(Aurelius invites the pair to his table to eat where pork, pasta and salted fish is served)

AURELIUS:
Jesus, bring your Uncle Joe to my table to join me for lunch.
So Joseph, you trade silver and tin perhaps these very utensils are yours.  Did I tell you that my friend Midas is a goldsmith and quite a bit of a gourmet chef and shared a recipe with me.  Would you like to know how to make gold soup? (affirmative)
Just use 14 carrots!  (laughter)

JOSEPH OF ARIMATHEA:
Mmmm That bacon sure smells good!  Mama Mia! You Italians prepare your fish equally as well!  Pass the pasta and garlic as I tell you the story of how my nephew fled to my home in Egypt just twenty years ago with his parents to escape the treachery of the imposter Edomite King Herod.  An angel was dispatched from the Throne of God to Joseph, a royal heir to David in a dream "Get your queen, son and asses the hell out of Dodge!"

AURELIUS:
Would you care for some ham?

JOSEPH OF ARIMATHEA:
Ham is not kosher!  We can not partake of this type of food.

(a live pig with a sign attached to the side of his belly struts across the stage that reads:
* I LOVE KOSHER PEOPLE


 

AURELIUS:
And your God is not just to spare your nephew and allow many boys to die from Herod's fury.  The Romans knows this story!  (he devours the ham)

JESUS:
My Father is just, good and generous at all times in His Kingdom.  This world belongs to the Devil!
(Joseph squeezes the arm of Jesus with a gesture of not now)

AURELIUS (laughing):
What Joseph!  Do you not think I understand?  Jesus adores his father as I do mine.  He stood barefoot barely five feet tall yet had the ego of Goliath!  Ha! Jesus and Joseph you would not like him because he was all ham!

JESUS:
My Father knows all things.

AURELIUS:
You speak with conviction Jesus. What do you know of truth?

ACT 3: SCENE 1
The Ministry Years of Jesus

 

KOPERNIKUS the Narrator
A mob comprised of angry men and jealous wives made a ruckus in the alleys of Magdela.  A young woman was running for her life and tripped on her long dress  and three men came to her aid shielding her from violent attacks They brought her to Jesus who was drawing in the sand.  Lord, Lord save her! They yelled, Jesus stood up raising His hand to quiet the throng of executioners.

 

JESUS:
Who is this woman and why is she so upset?

 

THE MOB:
She has gravely sinned caught having sex with married men!  She has stolen our husbands!  She needs to die!  Stone her according to the law of Moses!

 

JESUS:
Well Holy Moses!  Where are the guilty men?  Bring them to me!  They too are guilty in the sins of lust, adultery and debauchery - they too warrant a good stoning!   

My lady, who are you and what have you done?

MARY MAGDALENE;
I am Mary from Magdala, my Lord, I am Mary Magdalene and I love too much.

 

JESUS:
And so you opt for broken bones over a broken heart!  Come here Woman, I will give you sanctuary

 

THE MOB:
Are you above the law?  It is written ... 

 

JESUS (raising his voice):
It is written?  See what I have written in the sand!  Who is clean and without sin among you?
I am ready to proclaim your sins to this filthy hippocritical mob!   Before you throw any stones, where is her partner in this alleged adultery? Does not withholding evidence constitute the same penalty as the crime of which you accuse her?  (Jesus pelts the mob with pebbles) 

Get out of my sight!!  all of you except you Mary Magdelene, so guilty of loving too much.   Behold! Where are your accusers now?  I know thy heart and you are forgiven so go sin no more!

MARY MAGDALENE?
Where shall I go my Lord?  I have found my refuge with Thee!
Let me stay and learn your ways

JESUS:
Come with me Mary and rest your soul with solace of My Father's Kingdom.  The men who rescued you are my friends, Peter, James and his brother my beloved John.

ACT 4: SCENE 1
The Wedding Feast of Cana

Hebrew music and dancing fills the catering hall in Cana

 

KOPERNIKUS:
The music you hear is festive but the words are from the Psalms - this is a happy and holy rite.  Ah, Jesus is dancing with Mary Magdalene, He loves her so.  Peter, still known as Simon to his family dances with his wife and mother-in-law who playfully berates a clumsy oaf stepping on her feet.  The young beloved John is giddy and covertly sampling the kasks of wine.  He is so happy for Jesus.  John simply tasted but the supply of fermented grape juice ran dry.  The wine steward quickly approached the woman in charge of this event - Mary the mother of Jesus.

 

MARY:
Yeshua! Come here now!  Your guests are having a wonderful time dancing, singing, eating and drinking making merry.

 

JESUS:
That is good Mother so what is your problem?

 

MARY:
The still went kaputz!  I want you to do something about that!

 

JESUS:
Kaputz!  Now, Ma really now, are you suggesting I bootleg fermented grapes!  You know Eliot Ness will have a field day with me!  But how can a son resist an adoring mother?  I expect an extra special Mom's apple pie when I come to see you next week.

 

MARY:
Fine! With whipped cream and blueberries too!  Now Son, I want a wine that will make the Gallo Brothers seethe with envy!

 

JESUS:
You mean Manaschevich Ma, remember we're Jewish - kosher vino that bears the Star of David

 

KOPERNIKUS:
And so it goes the legend that Manaschevich Wines might make its claim but feared copyright infringement.

ACT 5: SCENE 1
(An open lea where Jesus rests against a tree talking to a small crowd of people)

PONTIUS PILATE:
Capt. Malchus, who is that man?

MALCHUS:
Sire, He is Yeshua Bar-Yosef of Nazareth.  We call him Jesus a sorcerer whose magic is well known throughout the land.  The High Priest and the Pharisees hate him - the crowds adore him. He is a Jew more liked by the Romans than the priests and rabbis of the Hebrew Temple.  He has done incredible things like healing the hopelessly ill and lepers, he walks on water, feeds five thousand or more with only two fish and five loaves of bread and he even restored life to the stone cold dead!

PONTIUS PILATE:
He can do all these things but I bet you he can not balance the budget in America!

MALCHUS:
What was that Sire?

PONTIUS PILATE:
The time will come Malchus when the answer to "What is truth?" is more than a song written and sung by Johnny Cash.

MALCHUS;
You are talking in riddles, Sire.

PONTIUS PILATE:
My wife dreams of men she does not know; why not dream of me?
Tiberius places me in this sink hole Palestine a gift to me for marrying his granddaughter.  Herod is a despot!  I have a destiny with this man Jesus.  He is an enigma to me.  I will bide my time.  Keep the peace here Malchus for the gods sure won't!

KOPERNIKUS the Narrator:
There is a document known as the "Acta Pilati" the original copy hand scribed by Pontius Pilate is housed in the Vatican Library in Rome.  This is his detailed account of what transpired at the Trial, Crucifixion and Resurrection of Jesus Christ within days of the event.  It is a lengthy incredible piece of reading material you will want to mull over.

 

ACT 5: SCENE 2

PONTIUS PILATE:
Captain Malchus , I grow very impatient; bring Jesus to my tent so I can interrogate him.

(Jesus is brought to the tent)

MALCHUS:
Sire, the Man from Galilee is here before you  (Jesus enters)

PONTIUS PILATE:
Make yourself comfortable, Jesus  I have provocative questions to have you explain to me and Rome
What is Oye?  (Jesus shrugs)
Jesus, have you ever had a ham sandwich? (Pilate offers him one)

JESUS:
Yes! Many times.
(he inspects/ bites the sandwich)

PONTIUS PILATE:
Really now!  Can you justify a Judean enjoying a non kosher diet?

JESUS:
This is good pork!  Whenever hospitality trumps our kosher regulations - this is no sin - as the sabbath was made for man and not man made for the sabbath restrictions for food is left for discernment in the eyes of God Who gives us all things.

PONTIUS PILATE:
You are a wise man Jesus!
Are you a practical man?
Do you obey the law?

 

JESUS:
It is said that man is not above the law but this is not true!
Malum Ense is the law of God written in the hearts of His People.  Malum Prohibitum is the statutes of man.  Now you Sir, as the Procurator has Rex Lex over Malum Prohibitum.

PONTIUS PILATE:
I know this Jesus and I exercise this sometimes overwhelming responsibility to the best of my ability to interpret and/or enforce the letter and/or intent of the law.  Tell me Jesus, who sits in the Mercy Seat as Rex Lex over Malum Ense?

JESUS:
I am The Kosher Ham!

 

ACT 6: SCENE 1
The Duel in the Desert

KOPERNIKUS the Narrator:
In our next scene, The Duel in the Desert, you will notice Jesus calling his adversary Lou and Satan calls his adversary Manny and that is because of their nostalgic familiarity with each other prior to the Fall of Angels in God's Heavenly Kingdom when Satan was Lucifer and Jesus was Emmanuel.  Now I remind you that Jesus has fasted forty days and is drawn to the aroma of charbroiled steaks smothered in garlic and onions with roasted mashed potatoes.  El Diablo ceremoniously devours a chunk of meat.

EL DIABLO:
It is so good to see you, Manny! See and taste what El Diablo has cooked up for you!

JESUS:
It sure smells tempting - you always were able to cook up a storm.

EL DIABLO:
The steak on the grill is for you Manny, I know you are ravenous not eating the past 39 days.  Come join your brother!

JESUS:
Lou, thou art still the charmer.  You always know what to say; (staring at him)  My brother and the father of Cain.  What else do you have for me. Lou?

EL DIABLO:
Eat now Manny, there is no need to go the extra mile.  You have completed 99% of the race, Mangia!  Have some bread I've baked myself.

JESUS:
Man must not live by bread alone

EL DIABLO:
Stop speaking cliches to me!  I have soup du jour or whatever fills your appetite!  Come here and see!  (places his arm over Jesus shoulders). Look around you and see that the world is mine!  You can not deny that!  When our Dad cast me out of Paradise He gave me dominion over all of the earth which of course, I can give you only if I can be the star of the show and you surrender yourself to me.  Mom always liked you best but I was the shining star in Dad's eyes.

 

JESUS:
Not anymore Lou!  But I must do what I have to do to finish the course set out for me and to perservere.  We are all free to choose but we are not free to choose the consequences of our choice.

EL DIABLO:
How boring!  I'm a lot more fun and the majority thinks I'm pretty hot stuff and a pretty cool dude at the same time!

JESUS:
That may be true Lou, but eventually that type of fun gets boring and old quick.  If you want a really long lasting battery for happiness then they should all choose me over Duracell!  I am The Big Cheese!
And The Kosher Ham - I am the Ambrosia!

EL DIABLO:
I have to hand it to you Manny, you did good!  I had seven of my best generals invade the woman you love but you won her heart and my army had to flee.  But I ain't through with you and yours yet.  I always return!

 

ACT 7: SCENE 1
The Last Supper

KOPERNIKUS the Narrator:
It is well known that Judas Iscariot was in charge of the purse for the bakers dozen and it was his job to secure a place for his brethren to hold the Seder banquet.  He hired Moishe Malone who kept his jokes in his cart but did well providing food for the last supper.

JESUS:
Judas, you are late!  Did something come up to distract you from your mission?

JUDAS ISCARIOT:
Well you know Lord at this time of the season it's like New York City during rush hour!  Every Saul, Solomon and Reuben  is trying to get a catering hall and leave it to me to conjure up the difference in this blasted economy.  I'll be damned I even had to sell my soul.  Moishe put this meal on my tab but promised  legs would be broken if he is not paid by sundown tomorrow.

JESUS:
Stop placing the blame on others Judas!  Adam told God it was because of Eve he ate the apple and Eve told God it was the Serpent who made her eat the apple and the Serpent did not even have a leg to stand on.

JUDAS ISCARIOT:
Lord, you and I both know the true story had nothing to do with apples and oranges.  What is your point? I am disturbed with your innuendoes.

JESUS:
You are correct and wise like the Serpent.  You and I both know Scriptures never stated that Adam actually sired Cain.

JESUS:
Do you feel well enough to join us at the table?

JUDAS:
Why do ask me such things?  I put my heart and soul into this banquet.  The food is blessed!  The wine was made by you at Cana.  And our caterer Moishe Malone promises freshness and scrumptious food for the body and the soul!

JESUS:
Excuse me Judas, but that's my line!  My brothers,  let me wash your feet it's rank in here starting with you Judas!

JUDAS ISCARIOT:
Enough of your riddles Rabbi!
I took my daily bath and I'm going to forsake Mass today I got important people to see.

SIMON PETER:
Where is he off to Jesus?

JESUS:
He is about to sell me out Rocky!

SIMON PETER:
Why that no good pimp! 
I'll gut him ...

JESUS:
Put a cork in it Rocky! 
You'll jump ship for nothing!

SIMON PETER:
How can you say that Lord! 
You named me Rocky because I'm your right hand man! 
I'll die for you!

 

JESUS:
In due time you will but when the chicken starts clucking I do not know this man!  Long before the cock ever crows ...  it's hasta la vista!  Adios amigo! See you in my dreams!  Never knew you, Sucker! Goodbye and good luck!        (Peter sings a song)

It's called self preservation
It's the human thing to do;
You want to be a martyr
That's your gig to do.
Don't you count on me
I have a family
Leave me alone
Please don't telephone
I want to live and I have only one life to give

Now Moishe is serving the cans of chicken noodle soup very apropos for a nite like this.  Let's eat!  (Fade Out)

 

ACT 7: SCENE 2
The Garden of Gethsemane
In the dark of night with Peter, James and John

JESUS:
You are such gluttons!  No wonder you can't stay awake but I too had to much to digest.
I really need you guys to watch my back. Rocky's snoring should keep you awake. 

(Jesus sits against the largest tree in the garden with a sign affixed * TREE OF LIFE)

JESUS:
Dad, between you and me I'm quite upset with this ordeal. There just gotta be another way out of this mess!  Frankly, this whole thing stinks!  You know this isn't fair for me or anybody to pay for crimes we didn't commit!  Circumventing justice and calling it sacrifice just doesn't cut the mustard!
Explain how The Supreme Being of a House of Order allows this to happen.

(Mary Magdalene comes out from behind the tree)

MARY MAGDALENE:
Jesus, I am here for you; let me hold you and tell me what is troubling you.
I heard you talking to Daddy.
Why are you so distraught?

JESUS:
I'm thinking of the vineyard.

(John wakes up rubbing his eyes)

JOHN THE BELOVED:
I'm sorry I passed out but thanks to Rocky's snoring I'm awake now and I got your back.  Lord, I remember that story well.  There is a whole lot I didn't understand on that one.

JESUS:
The Owner of the vineyard represents Our Heavenly Father who sent His servants the prophets and the stewards killed them. Then the Owner sent His son to give them legal service to so that the Case followed due process and they bound him, tortured him and murdered him.  You know I am that guy!  In order for a contract to be binding a person of legal majority must be represented by both parties; this is why I was sent in the flesh to fulfill the contract with mankind and Our Father.  This is what I meant when I said, when you see me you see the Father; I have His legal power of attorney. (pauses)

And thus under the principles of law we are ONE.  It is ashamed that in the future people will be so confused about this simple matter, they will create an inconceivable illusion they will call the Trinity to try to explain it.  When Dad introduced me at my baptism as His beloved son was that me being a ventriloquist    C'mon now, give me a break!


JOHN THE BELOVED:
Woah!  That made the hairs my stand all over my body when I understood that one!

JESUS:
Wasn't that The Comforter confirming truth?

JOHN THE BELOVED:
You have shown us that before but I gotta another question for you ... Lord, what did you mean when you told us that you must leave us in order that The Holy Spirit may come?  Was not the Spirit with us all the while?

JESUS:
Yeah! But what I meant was:
Do you remember that night I asked you all to stay awake?  When I went up to pray and you all fell asleep.  When I came down you all ran up and asked me "Lord, what did The Big Boss tell you?" and I then told you that I must go so the Spirit can come otherwise you will continue coming directly to me for your answers.  That's the easy way out so I need to teach you to PHONE HOME! just as I continually do.  I don't want a bunch of groupies, I'm looking for fellow musicians to get up on the stage with me and make music together as long as I'm the lead singer!            (with a wink)
One of my jobs here is to teach you how to use the cell phone which is like The Holy Spirit.  Our Dad is at the other end of the phone and I'm paying for the service.  If you had the telephone number wouldn't you want to connect with The Boss more often?       

Now here is what's bothering me so much this night.  In a way I'm just another guy, to look at me I'm nothing special.  But I was sent here to give legal service and to legally set up a kingdom with legal power of attorney from Dad which includes dukes, earls, Counts, etc.  The powers that be are currently running the show.  Tomorrow I'm going to be killed and denied due process of law which is going to be called a sacrifice in some type of holy ordinance.  An execution must follow due process and must be for a capital offense crime otherwise it is murder - the shedding of innocent blood.  The entire thing before me is a travesty!  I'm going to be illegally tried, tortured, mocked and murdered and El Diablo is going to have future generations calling my murder a sacrifice.  They will use my name as a magic spell claiming they are free of guilt and that the new age is that of grace.  The laws of God are done with and we can do whatever we want.  We are saved; just confess THE Name.

JOHN THE BELOVED:
Let me awake the others!

(the Roman Army approaches and  arrests Jesus.  Peter jumps up and takes his sword to Captain Malchus and severs his ear)

SIMON PETER:
Leave my master alone!  He is innocent!  Why are you taking him away?  Judas! You bastard!
You kiss Our Lord and expect to make it all better!  Kiss my ass you two-faced piece of crap!  At least you're gonna be a well hung som of a bitch!

JESUS:
Put your weapons down! 
(he miraculously mends his ear)
Malchus, you are whole again.

MALCHUS:
Thank you Jesus I hear you loud and clear.  I feel like a scumbag grabbing you in darkness with a sucker punch.  Jesus this is not my doing - your own people ...

JESUS:
Eliah! Eliah! lama sabatanni?

KOPERNIKUS:
My God! My God! Why has Thou forsaken me?
Those immortal words pierced the  heavens and made The Supreme Being wail incessantly sitting on His Throne when His Only Begotten Son was executed by crucifixion the next day.  Cain killed Abel when the world was young and his bloodline killed Jesus because of the sins of mankind not for the sins of mankind as imposters would tell Pontius Pilate to correct the inscription above His lifeless body to say He pretended to be the King of the Jews rather what Pilate insisted proclaiming his pedigree in all the known languages of the Roman Empire:
THIS IS JESUS KING OF ISRAEL!             

ACT 8: SCENE 1
The Courtyard of Pontius Pilate

JOSEPH OF ARIMATHEA:
Procurator, I implore you to let me dispose of the body of my nephew before sundown in accordance to our tradion.

PONTIUS PILATE:
No need to beg me Joseph.  Do what you must do.  Under different circumstances you and I could be friends.

JOSEPH OF ARIMATHEA:
I saw you stand up to the High Priests of the Temple about What I have written I have written!  Sir, you are a friend of mine. I have a tomb fit for a king to lay his body with all due respect and honor.

PONTIUS PILATE:
I am an equestrian, Joseph and bear a coat of arms.  I recognize  the insignia of your family - the royal line of David. I was moved by the words Jesus said to his mother Mary being comforted by a young man Jesus called John I recall Him passing the Mantle from the cross:  "John behold thy mother and Mother behold thy son!".  In our tradition he is saying in fact that John is His son.  Is this true Joseph?  Go Joseph you have so much to do.


ACT 8: SCENE 2 - The Finale
The Resurrection
A multitude of people near tomb

KOPERNIKUS (sitting on a rock)
Scriptures say Pilate posted two Centurians who each is in charge of 60-100 soldiers. Granted each Centurian takes a twelve hour shift still a massive number not to mention the several cohorts nearby.  Then the Temple priests had fifty of their own security guards posted out of fear the apostles would steal the body of Jesus.  Then word got out that this Miracle Magician would rise from His grave on the third day sans TV or radio so you just gotta be there well perhaps a Woodstock without the bands. Popcorn and peanuts? Why not, Jesus is about to hit the all time grand slam home run!  This can be billed ah hem, sorry PT Barnum, the greatest show on earth and heaven too!

(a very tall handsome but formidable man dressed in a shiny spacesuit enters the scene from a beam of light - he rolls back the stone blocking the tomb and all eyes are fixed)

JESUS:
I'm baaack!!!  (the entire crowd and soldiers scatter)
Is it something I said?

 
THE END

ACT 1: SCENE 1

ACT 1: SCENE 2

ACT 2: SCENE 1

ACT 2: SCENE 2

ACT 3: SCENE 1

ACT 7: SCENE 2

ACT 4: SCENE 1

ACT 6: SCENE 1

ACT 5: SCENE 1

ACT 5: SCENE 2

ACT 7: SCENE 1

ACT 8: SCENE 1

ACT 8: SCENE 2 (FINALE)

CAST OF CHARACTERS:
GABRIEL the Archangel
MARY mother of Jesus
KOPERNIKUS the Narrator
RAPHAEL the Temple Priest
JESUS (YESHUA BAR-YOSEF)
AURELIUS the Chief Centaurian
JOSEPH OF ARIMATHEA
MARY MAGDALENE
PONTIUS PILATE
MALCHUS Captain Centaurian
EL DIABLO (Lou/Satan)
JUDAS ISCARIOT
SIMON PETER (Rocky)
JOHN THE BELOVED
THE ANNOUNCER
WGA REGISTRATION # R29737
COPYRIGHT 2012 (THE LINCOLN STUDIO) ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

in order of appearance:

 Images from The Kosher Ham